Coaching Videos & Tips - October 25 2018 No. 579
SET YOUR GOALS - VIDEO #9
You have, no doubt, heard of the idea of visualization - seeing how your goals will look when you achieve them. Well, modern psychology confirms that there's a little more to it than that. You've five senses - not only do you need to come to them, you can use them to immerse your mind in what arriving at your outcome looks like, feels like, sounds like and even smells and tastes like.
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Today's video is about how to set your goals so that your subconscious mind - the part of you that runs your daily life - "gets the picture". But, when I sat down to record the video yesterday evening, I didn't realize that something of crucial importance would emerge. I digressed into a brief discussion the arrow of time. It is one of the most important digressions you're ever likely to hear.
We "set our goals" using present tense language becuase the subconscious mind doesn't understand what cognitive psychology calls "The Arrow of Time" - in other words, past and future are not perceived by the subconscious as anything other than present. This is of fundamental importance because, on an ordinary everyday basis, as we go about the routine of our lives in an habitual way, our subconscious is focused in the past... because it is in our formative past that we learned all the fundamental things we know about ourselves - the things that enable us function (not quite the same as living, though) as us.
Our attention to the past is our perception of now.
And if, like most normal crazy people, the rest of your mind is worrying about what you don't want to happen in the future, then that future anxiety is also your perception of now.
So, you don't just need to develop your ability to focus in the now because this is where your life is lived. If you don't you continue to live in a now that doesn't exist... with all the implications that has for your behaviour, reactivity and lack of ability to do the things you need to do to get to where you'd like to go.
I was queuing with one of my daughters, at one of Paris's leading markets, to buy something tasty for Sunday lunch. But, as we were looking at all the delights, we didn't realize it was our turn to order.
"What's wrong with you?" shouted one of the assistants - from the far end of what was a pretty long market stall... we didn't realize she was shouting at us. "Hey, you two, hey b*tch" she shouted "If you don't want to buy get out of the way and let someone else buy!"
Ah, the joys of customer service! We made our purchases - because we really wanted what they had! - and moved on. A couple of minutes later, my daughter got a tap on the shoulder: "Want to apologize... I'm not feeling 100% this morning" explained the assistant.
At least, unlike most normal crazy people, she realized that she's nowhere near 100%!