We all have have thoughts that lead to self-sabotage - self-limiting beliefs. And I’m often asked the above question.
Our self-limiting thoughts are stored in our subconscious or unconscious mind and they’ve been stored there since childhood. Trying to change your thoughts is not going to work for you.
Instead, you must change how you think - this is completely different from changing what you think.
When you learn how to pay attention to the present moment, when you learn to focus, when you develop mindfulness, you stop paying attention to your self-limiting thoughts. The power they have over you is taken away because thoughts are nothing without attention.
This is actually a physical phenomenon - not just a nice idea! Developing mindfulness restructures the subcortical brain - the neural components that make up your subconscious or unconscious mind. As a result, they communicate with each other in a novel way that dampens the area of the brain from where your “self-referential thoughts” come.
So, no - you can’t change your thoughts. But you sure can change how you think.