Coaching Videos & Tips - December 5 2019 No.630
COLD COMFORT!
We love our comfort zone, even if it gives us little other than cold comfort. We'll put up with the uncomfortable in our lives because it would be too uncomfortable to change it! We make small adjustments to keep going but this is akin to decorating your prison cell when, right in front of you, sticking out of the door, is the key that will release you!
And, if you'd explore what releasing yourself is all about - the how, the why, the results - you'll find plenty to explore in The Archive!
Don't put up with anything undesirable in your life for one minute longer than necessary.
Sure enough, there are unpalatable things (and people) that we must work through and come out the other side - but not endure.
Take a step back. Consider what it the most appropriate action (different from reaction) to take to disentangle yourself... and just do it.
I'm often asked if I offer "resilience" training. And I always say "No". Why would we train ourselves to put up with something with which we shouldn't put up for any longer than the minimum required?
Resilience training is often associated with stress and, as you know, stress is something that you do to yourself by regurgitating what's actually going on and blowing it out of all proportion. So, far starters, there's no merit in providing (resilience) training for something that isn't there!
That said, as human beings, in the greater scheme of things, pride ourselves on our resilience, citing it as one of our greater qualities. And our resilience, no doubt, does enable us to survive extreme conditions: drought, famine, war and pestilence... all you have to do to understand the significance of human resilience is to read Viktor Frankl's Holocaust sruvival account (Man's Search for Meaning).
However, in our ordinary everyday lives, human resilience is equal parts blessing and curse. All too often we put up with an intolerable situation for an unnecessarily long period of time. Often, we torture ourselves in the process, whilst priding ourselves on our resilience.
I'm talking about the inappropriate and unnecessary slings and arrows of everyday life: bad behaviour; bullying; insurmountable deadlines; the unreasonable expectations of others who, in the greater scheme of things would never make it onto our list of the three or five most important persons in our life.
The problem we have is that we're wired to put up with what should not be put up with. It saved us in the past, it's wrecking lives daily in the present.
Hence today's Quick Tip.
The French are renowned for their cheese, wine, foie gras and... relieving themselves in public. Novels, plays and even films have been produced about the French pissoir (it means exactly what it sounds like).
It is a partciularly male thing - to be seen regularly on the roadside... one our neighbours actually does it in his own vegetable patch (still trying to get my head around this). And, it must be said, it isn't for the want of public toilets, which are widely availble.
As I said, it is particularly a male thing...
Last Saturday, strolling along the lakeside, we approached an elderly lady who was treating herself to a picnic. As we passed, we wished her bon appetit and marvelled at the selection of foods she had laid out before her.
A little further on we looked back to see how she was getting on. And there she was - relieving herself. In full view of... the public toiliets.